


One Day

by ununoriginal



Series: LDD!verse [1]
Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-19
Updated: 2008-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 06:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ununoriginal/pseuds/ununoriginal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koyama is picking up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by misticloud's 'lust, destiny, desire'.

For the longest time, you can't bear to go up to the rooftop, because it was Ryo's coming back down from that cold, windy place that marked the dissolution of your illusions.  
  
For the longest time, you wish that you didn't ever have to see the simple exchange, just a jacket handed back with a whispered thanks, that shattered your world.  
  
For the longest time, you wish that time had never broken free of that magical Okinawan summer.  
  
In his room, you stare at him as he looks out of the window, the afternoon sunlight blinding, but he refuses to turn away.  The brilliant rays limn his hair, illuminating the spiky ends like an irregular halo, and your tears streak down your cheeks as your body begins to acknowledge what your heart and mind still refuses to.  
  
He is no longer the Shige you love.    
  
The only place left for your Shige is in your memories.  
  
You try to one more time, searching hopelessly for a sign that, against all odds, something inside this person you love so will respond to you.  
  
But that person has vanished.  
  
You call Ryo, because you want to... accuse him?  Rage at him?  Plead with him to turn Shige back from the stranger he has become, beg him to give him your Shige back?  
  
Ryo answers his phone with a voice that's broken and you lose all the words you have in your head.  
  
In your mind's eye, you see again Shige's head slowly coming up, eyes raising to interlock gazes with Ryo as Ryo offers him back his jacket.  
  
“Ne, Ryo, my Shige is gone, isn't he?  Where did he go?  Where in this world can I go to get him back?”  
  
You gaze dully at the picture in your wallet, two lanky teenagers tanned from the Okinawan sun, making peace signs with one hand while the others have their fingers entwined, smiling their perfect smiles against the endless expanse of blue sea and sky.  
  
“How could he have disappeared, without me knowing?  Where did I go wrong?”  
  
“Koyama, I...”  
  
“No!”  You suddenly don't think you can bear to hear anything from him, rationalisations, excuses, explanations, apologies, anything.  
  
Maybe if you never have to see them again, then you can still pretend that what happened was just a small glitch in the fabric of your reality, a wrinkle that can be ironed out and life will be smooth-sailing and rosy again.  
  
But you may have been blind and oblivious, but you're not naïve enough to believe that you can bring yourself to ever do that.  
  
You may love Shige the most, but NewS and its future is also of tantamount importance to you.  
  
Right now all you want to do is curl up in the dark and let the world end around you.  
  
But one day, one day you'll be able to sit in the same room with them, sensing their unspoken bond, and not feel like you're going to break down any second.  
  
One day, you'll be able to let Shige approach you without flinching and drawing back, for fear that once he touches you, you'll just cling to him and it would take a thousand people to pry you away.  
  
One day, you'll be able to see that it wasn't really your fault that Shige had changed, that time is unrelenting and cruel, sweeping everyone indiscriminately along in its tide, and you'll forgive yourself for not being all that Shige needed you to be.  
  
One day you'll wake up, and realise that even though you and Shige are no longer a couple, he still loves and needs you as a friend, and that both of you are hurting because you've been trying so hard not to see that.  
  
That will be the day you offer to go get Shige and Ryo down from the rooftop, where they will often retreat to during the breaks.  You'll climb up the echoing stairway and push open the heavy door, stepping into the chill wind which sweeps your hair into your eyes.  You'll hear chuckling and quiet murmurs to your right and you'll turn to see, across the grey cement, Shige leaning sideways against the railing, Ryo facing him, their gazes caught up in each other's.  Shige will have one hand trailing softly down Ryo's cheek while Ryo's arm around Shige's waist draws them closer together.  They will seem so completely, perfectly, at peace.  
  
You will draw in a deep breath of the air in this new world you've decided to live in, a new world where you finally accept that Ryo and Shige are really, truly good for each other.  
  
You'll step forward.  
  
That will be the day you ask them if they are free after practice, maybe you could all have dinner or something, and you will be rewarded, after the longest time, with Shige's incandescent smile and his warm, warm arms around you again.


End file.
